Thursday, March 29, 2012

Do You Think You're Special?

I don't like people. I love (sometimes) my family, but as a whole the people I meet while getting from point A to point B during the day, just...well...suck. There's no other word that adequately describes my dislike of people. Mind you, I don't feel the need to find a gun and shoot you all. Of course, this could possibly be because I'm not a member of the "special just because you were born" generation. Which is probably where my dislike of people finds it's origin. I'm just jealous. I wasn't brought up to believe I was supposed to be deliriously happy every waking moment of the day. As a result, I don't spend my days focusing on the problems I have, I spend my time examining my options and hope that somewhere in that list is a solution that works for me. Since I'm not wallowing in the hole my problem creates, I can't find a doctor to say I'm depressed and need to take a pill for it. As a result of that, I have to work for a living instead of staying home and feeding my unhappy face until I weigh enough to be considered disabled. This working for a living sucks because it keeps me active enough to lose weight. Which, of course, means my knees don't hurt enough to qualify me for one of those Scooter Store battery operated chairs. I'd have to cough up the 3 grand or so out of my own pocket and that just ain't happening. I can't even get myself arrested so I can take advantage of those "three squares and a bed" the county is always promising those who don't mind having their privileges taken away. I can't find it in my heart to make a fibbing 9 year old run for 3 hours until she gets so dehydrated that she dies. I can't bring myself to pick a fight with someone and get so mad at them that I'm willing to throw a dog off a balcony to it's death just because I'm pissed off. Nor do I ever resort to shooting folks just because of the color of their skin. I'm not so special that I can't wait patiently in a grocery store line while someone in front of me writes a check to pay the bill. I'm even willing to let folks with a handful of items go ahead of me so they don't have to wait long just to buy a loaf of bread. I even understand that the semi driver stopped at the light in front of me needs quite a bit more road than I do to get back up to speed. He can't just tromp on the gas and be 5 miles over the speed limit by the time he reaches the other side of the intersection. Life just doesn't work that way, of course, all you "special just because you were born" don't understand that, do you? It must suck to feel that every obstacle in life is put there just to irritate your ass. Can't be any other explanation for those obstacles can there? You were taught from birth that you never had to take responsibility for anything. Life was going to hand you roses or whatever else you needed to feel good. After all, you don't have to lift a finger to accomplish anything, YOU were born special. Which doesn't mean that anyone has any respect for you. Apparently you know that since you don't even respect yourself. People with self respect don't sit around whining about life. We accept that we aren't going to make the right decision all the time and we do the best we can to fix what we break. People with self respect don't feel that we're better than you are, we're just sick and tired of listening to the litany of reasons why you think life sucks. Get over yourself. You weren't born special, you were born the same way the rest of us were. You're going to have the same problems the rest of us do, and if you win one once in awhile, it's because you made the effort to do something instead of complain about it. In other words, you get to take out what you put into life. It isn't life that sucks, it's YOU! Now do something about that will you? Photobucket

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Return of Women As Second Class Citizens

The Equal Rights Amendment was passed by Congress in 1972, and is still not added to the Constitution as the 28th Amendment. The reason for that is, it has not been ratified by the necessary 38 states. Women 20 or more years younger than I am believe they have equal rights under the Constitution, and simply can't understand how men doing their job make more money than they do. We are led to believe that benefits us in some way since the men are being paid more and are our protectors. Maybe in some alternate universe this occurs, like the proverbial pigs ass?

In 2006 there were nearly 233,000 reported rapes. That same year nearly 1,600 women lost their lives to violence by spouse or significant other. Estimates on non fatal physical violence by husband or significant other range from 900,000 to as high as 3 million victims. These statistics are for the US alone. Guys, this is not what Olivia Newton-John meant when she sang "Let's get physical" in the 1970's. Trust me on that.

The angriest I ever got at someone I had contact with online was with John The Squabbler. He stated to me that this increase in domestic violence was a direct result of women wanting equality. While I don't remember that he outright blamed women for being victims, he skirted close enough to it that I was truly offended. The problem was his experience within his family as a child was different from mine.

I was raised in a family where Dad made all the decisions without any input from my Mom. This state of affairs was, along with his verbal abuse, why they found themselves in divorce court by the time I was 13. He created a situation where Mom was fully dependent upon him for transportation to everything and then he didn't like it. He chose the house we lived in which was on the outskirts of the city and not near stores or other family members homes. He undermined her attempts at learning to drive, belittled and yelled at her constantly. She was among the lucky ones in our circle of acquaintances.

Three of my childhood friends were sexually molested by their fathers. Our next door neighbor had 6 kids and was the clumsiest woman according to her husband. She had black eyes, broken nose, ribs, her arm and once was so badly beaten she had a concussion. My friend Carol's Mom who also had frequent bruising finally fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck. We now know she was beaten and pushed by her husband. He admitted it on his deathbed. He did it between the time the kids left for school and he left for work. Carol and her brothers found her when they got home.

Mom's friend Anita had 2 boys she simply was unable to love. They were conceived through rape which in the 50's and 60's wasn't rape due to the perpetrator being her husband. Women didn't have the right to say no to their husbands and men had the right to force their wives to do whatever they wanted as long as they didn't kill them, men had the right to punish them as if they were wayward children.

None of this happened in ghettos or occurred in families living in poverty. This happened in middle class families where the men had decent jobs that allowed them to provide well for their families. This happened in families that attended church every Sunday without fail. The men were officers in the Air Force, General Managers in local mills, and in the case of my Dad, the city Codes Enforcer. There are no statistics for the frequency of occurrence during those years because no one ever reported it. Even rape victims would not go to the police because they would be treated as if they caused it to happen to them. Victims were actually asked if they enjoyed it or if they had an orgasm.

Here we are, half a century later and MEN, those we have elected to govern us are again trying to take away from women any right that we have gained. They even have support from women who have decided that bad things don't happen to decent god fearing women. Bad things only happen to sluts, bimbos and other women who dress provocatively and behave as if they're available to all takers. Bad things only happen to poor women who keep having babies so they won't have to ever work for a living since they live high on Welfare.

I was a normal average kid, in a normal average neighborhood, in what people believe now was a "kinder, gentler America". I find nothing kind or gentle in the lives of women who were and are treated as children to be controlled by the whim of her "better half". If we sit silently by and allow men to decide what we can and can't do with our bodies, then we are failing our daughters and granddaughters by forcing them to live without the right to be self directing within their own lives.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Sometimes It's Really Because of The Gun

I knew in the first two weeks of caring for this particular client that there were some emotional/mental issues going on. Part of it was her constant attacks on the character of her daughter-in-law who had supplanted her in the heart of her son as his first concern. She was angry that he hadn't made her a dependent and moved her to live with him and his growing family at his current military base. The other clue was her obsession with the younger tenants in her high rise. They, she said, were gang members. Since this is a low cost housing unit, many of them are black or Hispanic.

To hear her tell it, she was on a first name basis with the mayor, many members of the Common Council and all of the local policemen. She said they all call her Ma. The reason for all this elbow rubbing with the local authorities was that she was the captain of the neighborhood watch.

According to her, she single handedly got control of a building that she felt was rife with criminal activity. All I saw, or heard when I was there 3 times a week were the heavy steel doors getting away from the tenants entering or exiting their apartments with their hands full of whatever they were carrying. Many of the tenants spent time on their balconies enjoying the weather and smoking cigarettes. Yes, some of those cigarettes were hand rolled or from one of those rolling machines because, after all, these are low income tenants. There was never the tell tale scent of burning mattresses. Other "criminal" activity consisted of having company and playing music or televisions too loud. Which, no one was complaining about. Except for my client. She walked all the floors and listened at doors for that particular illegal activity. She denies it but there were 30 complaints, in writing, against her for that.

There were all those calls to the police department reporting all this activity which, of course, necessitated that a patrol respond to these nuisance reports. Finally, after about 6 months of it there was a meeting. It was attended by a local Police Captain, the Neighborhood Watch officer that coordinates, the building manager and district manager for the company that owns the building. The upshot of that meeting was her removal as Neighborhood Watch Captain. Of course, to hear her tell it, it was all lies, she proved it wasn't her making the calls and they want her back but she won't go back since they accused her. I didn't bother to point out that she told me when she had to call the police and what for.

She, or someone like her are the absolute last people who should ever be in a position of authority over anyone. She can't keep friends since none of them will take care of her the way she believes she should be cared for. I've never met anyone who lies about EVERYTHING the way she does. My problem is that she believes her own lies. Her grasp on reality some days is slim to none. How she functions is beyond me. What mental aberration she suffers from is not on her diagnostics so I have no idea. I just know she's not right in the head. I also know that under the right set of circumstances she could be dangerous.

During her tenure as Watch Captain she was extremely frustrated at her inability to get rid of those younger men she believed were members of some New York City gangs. Her constant refrain was that building management was going to be very sorry when rival gang members moved in. She was sure that violence was going to erupt and good tenants would be found lying dead in hallways and stairwells. It was all those "gang members" living there that she felt were the problem. Not her and her preconceived notions about who these people were. The problem was they were all gang members. She, however, was someone with delusions of grandeur in a position of authority. This tale ends differently than that of George Zimmerman. She just didn't have a gun.